Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Mondays are for Rambles: Death, Rodeos and Basil.

Fresh off the bookshelf :: Death. It's not something I give to much time to… mostly because once someone hands me the topic of death, there seems to be a whole lack of words on my part. A little bit of unease. A little bit of "Why are you reminding me of this right now?" And probably some, "Jesus, come quickly" prayers. I read this book in five days. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but 'round here, books don't get read that fast. (See the stack of half-read books on my night to-read bookshelf.) This book felt like I was sitting down with friends who had a lot of really amazing, beautiful, interesting, useful and useless pieces of information to add to the discussion. And two people who just don't know much more than I do. In fact, I think the reason I tore through it in five days was that a part of me was hoping maybe they had landed on some kind of answer. Which, of course, is why they wrote the book. Death seems to bring a whole lot of unanswerable questions. And music, well, music is how some of us deal. We all want some peace. Or solutions. Or cures. Or a more clear picture of what hope and heaven and hereafter looks like.

And if I'm going to be honest (which I like to be as much as possible) the content seemed to bring a dark cloud over my week. I spent a good part of that week feeling like life was slipping, and perhaps meaningless. Not meaningless in the "I've lost all hope" sort of way.But meaningless in the Ecclesiastes sort of way. The realization that we're just a breath and a short blip and there's not a whole lot that really, actually matters in this life.

Except for love. And Grace.
The story of Jesus.
And of course, good music.

So you should read it. That's all.

Just watched :: I watched this earlier today. As a single mom of a wild heathen rebel brilliant strong-willed child, I often feel myself trying to climb the slippery walls of parenthood. Like, seriously, how am I supposed to do this and make it out alive? Questions get harder, attitudes become certainly more directed toward *ahem* the authority, and I'm at war with myself, my beliefs & my heart. So, when 20 minute videos like this pop up online, you better believe I'm wiping away tears and listening close and begging my daughter to let me finish listening because it means maybe something will remind me that I NEED THE GOSPEL if I'm going to finish this race well. So, if you have 20 minutes, breathe in some rest and grace and watch and listen, and we can cheer each other on as fellow rescuers and sinners alike.

Community :: Friendships and relationships with other people are hard. It only makes me wonder how hard it is to be a friend to me. Do you ever feel like life holds up a giant mirror for you to see all the flaws of yourself? Well, I feel it. And that's a whole other blog that's coming soon, I suppose.

In the kitchen :: Fresh basil is so wonderfully aromatic. And strawberries that haven't been all beefed up are the best too. I'm so thankful for farmer's markets that carry both of these. I explained recently to my sister that feeling of "When is life going to start?" Like, when am I going to have the time to cook all those recipes in Julia Child's cookbook? Or when will I have the time to grow a window herb garden? What about all that jam I promised myself I'd prepare this summer?

Oh life. You keep handing me baskets of strawberries and pots of basil and I have only the time to take a photo of you and hope you don't rot before I have use of you.

Weather :: In the summer, it gets hot and then it rains. Push rewind and repeat. As a kid, I used to don a rain jacket and boots to sit under the water-logged pines behind my house while the summer rains soaked the earth. We have neither water-logged pines nor a forest to wander, but puddles? Oh there are plenty of those. So that's what my lunch break looks like. Puddles and splashes of raindrops in my lukewarm coffee.

Free time :: When I work at home all week, I take whatever chance I can to get out of these walls for fresh air, and whatever else the 'burbs around here have hidden away. So, last week we went to the rodeo. I was happy. The end.

1 comment: