Mondays are for Rambles: Death, Rodeos and Basil.

Fresh off the bookshelf :: Death. It's not something I give to much time to… mostly because once someone hands me the topic of death, there seems to be a whole lack of words on my part. A little bit of unease. A little bit of "Why are you reminding me of this right now?" And probably some, "Jesus, come quickly" prayers. I read this book in five days. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but 'round here, books don't get read that fast. (See the stack of half-read books on my night to-read bookshelf.) This book felt like I was sitting down with friends who had a lot of really amazing, beautiful, interesting, useful and useless pieces of information to add to the discussion. And two people who just don't know much more than I do. In fact, I think the reason I tore through it in five days was that a part of me was hoping maybe they had landed on some kind of answer. Which, of course, is why they wrote the book. Death seems to bring a whole lot of unanswerable questions. And music, well, music is how some of us deal. We all want some peace. Or solutions. Or cures. Or a more clear picture of what hope and heaven and hereafter looks like.

And if I'm going to be honest (which I like to be as much as possible) the content seemed to bring a dark cloud over my week. I spent a good part of that week feeling like life was slipping, and perhaps meaningless. Not meaningless in the "I've lost all hope" sort of way.But meaningless in the Ecclesiastes sort of way. The realization that we're just a breath and a short blip and there's not a whole lot that really, actually matters in this life.

Except for love. And Grace.
The story of Jesus.
Redemption.
And of course, good music.

So you should read it. That's all.

Just watched :: I watched this earlier today. As a single mom of a wild heathen rebel brilliant strong-willed child, I often feel myself trying to climb the slippery walls of parenthood. Like, seriously, how am I supposed to do this and make it out alive? Questions get harder, attitudes become certainly more directed toward *ahem* the authority, and I'm at war with myself, my beliefs & my heart. So, when 20 minute videos like this pop up online, you better believe I'm wiping away tears and listening close and begging my daughter to let me finish listening because it means maybe something will remind me that I NEED THE GOSPEL if I'm going to finish this race well. So, if you have 20 minutes, breathe in some rest and grace and watch and listen, and we can cheer each other on as fellow rescuers and sinners alike.

Community :: Friendships and relationships with other people are hard. It only makes me wonder how hard it is to be a friend to me. Do you ever feel like life holds up a giant mirror for you to see all the flaws of yourself? Well, I feel it. And that's a whole other blog that's coming soon, I suppose.

In the kitchen :: Fresh basil is so wonderfully aromatic. And strawberries that haven't been all beefed up are the best too. I'm so thankful for farmer's markets that carry both of these. I explained recently to my sister that feeling of "When is life going to start?" Like, when am I going to have the time to cook all those recipes in Julia Child's cookbook? Or when will I have the time to grow a window herb garden? What about all that jam I promised myself I'd prepare this summer?

Oh life. You keep handing me baskets of strawberries and pots of basil and I have only the time to take a photo of you and hope you don't rot before I have use of you.

Weather :: In the summer, it gets hot and then it rains. Push rewind and repeat. As a kid, I used to don a rain jacket and boots to sit under the water-logged pines behind my house while the summer rains soaked the earth. We have neither water-logged pines nor a forest to wander, but puddles? Oh there are plenty of those. So that's what my lunch break looks like. Puddles and splashes of raindrops in my lukewarm coffee.

Free time :: When I work at home all week, I take whatever chance I can to get out of these walls for fresh air, and whatever else the 'burbs around here have hidden away. So, last week we went to the rodeo. I was happy. The end.

'Twas a Weekend of Leisure

A weekend of baseball (antlers up, y'all!), BBC's North & South and straight hair.

A weekend to shop secondhand, try new recipes and write new songs.

thrift store treasures: one pair of Frederick's
of Hollywood stilettos ($4), one long plaid shirt ($2).

potato and mushroom golumpki (stuffed cabbage). it's a Polish thing.

For the little M, it was a weekend for big girl ponytails, a sleepover with her "Texas grandparents" and banana muffins.

And in dark mornings, late nights, sullen quiet, this weekend was long afternoons of thinking, daydreaming, musing, analyzing, processing.

taken from my copy of Louey Chisholm's "The Golden Staircase: Poems and Verses for Children"

The Week So Far

1. These girls are on my heart and mind almost constantly. Joan and Nakimbugwe. I miss their smiles and beautiful hearts. Their honesty and wisdom at such a young age. As I think about dresses (The Pillowcase Project), about Uganda, about traveling, about my own family... it's easy for me to get overwhelmed and feel completely incapable of doing any mite of good. So I just remember and know that in some moments, that's really all they need. Someone to remember them. To know them. To acknowledge their existence as valuable, precious, important.


2. The stories they told me, of such things I could never imagine. Death, disease, poverty. But never once did they beg for pity. They just asked to be heard and seen.


3. Back here at home, I'm trying to make sure I don't waste that which I do have. This means attempts at preserving, canning, pickling, and using way to much vinegar to the point which my husband practically begs me to stop.


4. Prepping a workspace for photos, for inventory, for my own sanity. I don't paint to make money. I paint because I love it. Because of this, I don't stop painting just because I'm not selling anything. This creates a space issue. So the wall has become a secondary storage space. Lord help our walls.


6. Breakfast on the go. Ever had a Tangelo?


7. At the center of it all, my family. This little one who has learned to grab a paint brush and "paint" while I work on home projects. She who "reads" when I read. "Sings" when I am humming. It's all too wonderful.


8. The produce co-op. I have never before needed to find so many recipes that incorporate fresh veggies. It's worth it for sure, but I feel really guilty when I can't use every last potato and onion.



9. Sometimes produce just leaves the picture all together, and sweet vanilla crepes end up on our plates. No complaints here. I'll take them....


10. From the hum of the mixer...



11. To the sweet delight of raspberries.



12. And finally... nothing beats discovery. Actually, maybe just rediscovering. Snow is pretty awesome when you're a kid.

The Weekend/Weekend Recipes

The weekend crept slowly. I loved (mostly) every lingering, quiet minute. It is our weekend to soak up. Ours to revel in. To enjoy in the purest, simplest ways.

Weekends are made for snuggling under white down blankets and fresh-ground coffee brewing at 3 p.m. My own soul finds renewal in Anne of Green Gables at 9 a.m. and a cool afternoon breeze through the balcony door.

As we celebrated our two-year anniversary on a tight budget, I grocery-shopped in our kitchen, cupboards and fridge.

Here's my weekend recipes.

Baked Salmon with Herb Cream Cheese

• 1 T butter
• a dash of rosemary, basil and oregano
• 1 t fresh minced garlic
• 1/2 cream cheese, softened

Marinade salmon in olive oil, garlic, salt and rosemary for at least 1 hours. Preheat oven to 400. Blend cream cheese and other ingredients and top each filet with cream cheese blend. (I had four filets prepared). Bake at 400 for 15 minutes. Broil for last 3 minutes to crisp top of cream cheese. I served this with Green Bean Almondine and Dirty Rice. It was a hit with everyone!

Chicken Taco Chili
This is called "what are we having for dinner?" and I started adding ingredients into the Crockpot. It turned out really good and we've been eating it for leftovers as well. I think this is going to be a staple this fall!

• 1 L water
• 1 can red kidney beans
• 1 can sweet corn
• 1 can black beans
• 1 small can tomato sauce
• 1 large can tomato paste
• 3 chicken breasts, cubed, frozen
• half jar salsa
• 2 T sour cream
• half yellow onion, minced
  
• half green pepper, chopped
  
• 1/2 c. cubed colby/jack cheese
• a couple tsp garlic powder
• salt & pepper to taste pepper
• 1 T or more of chili powder
• 1 T or more of taco seasoning
• dash of onion powder
• 2 T extra virgin olive oil

Dump it all in a slow cooker. Cook on high for 5-6 hours OR low 8 hours. Serve with sweet corn bread muffins!

Cinnamon Raisin Bread
straight from Betty Crocker herself!

• 1 c. water
• 2 T butter, softened
• 3 c. Better for Bread flour
• 3 T sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 2 1/2 tsp bread machine yeast
• 3/4 raisins

Measure carefully, placing all ingredients except raisins in bread machine, in the order recommended by the manufacturer. Add raisins at the raisin/nut signal, or 5 to 10 minutes before last kneading cycle ends.

Select Sweet or Basic/White cycle. Use medium or light crust color. Remove baked bread from pan and cool on wire rack.


Stuffed French Toast with Cinnamon Raisin Bread
I used the CR bread for this delectable breakfast. It was great! This made 4 thick slices of french toast. Enough for two + little one!

Stuffing

• half a block of cream cheese, softened
  
• 3 tsp sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
  
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Batter

• 4 thick slices of Cinnamon Raisin bread, 1 to 1 1/2 inches thick
  
• 4 large eggs, beaten
• 1 cup half-and-half
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Heat oven to 225 degrees F. Blend together filling ingredients in small bowl until light and fluffy. Cut a small slice along the top of each piece, creating a pocket in the middle. Fill with a heaping tablespoon of filling. Mix together the eggs, half-and-half and vanilla. Dip bread in egg mixture and cook on prepared griddle until both sides are golden brown, being careful to keep filling in bread pocket. Place cooked slices on baking sheet and place in oven to keep warm.

Weekend Recipes

Here's what was cooking in our kitchen this weekend...

Pork Chops with a Mushroom + Wine Cream sauce
This is my mom's recipe. I altered it a bit for our smaller family. Here is the original.

• 8 boneless pork chops (i only used 2)
• salt, pepper
• 3/4 c. white wine (i still used 1/2 c.)
• 3/4 c. heavy cream (i used a little less than 1/2 c.)
• 3T butter
• sliced mushrooms

1. melt butter over medium
2. season and pan fry the chops, each side, to brown (at least 2 minutes)
3. pour in wine & simmer with chops for 6-10 minutes
4. remove chops
5. pour in cream and add mushrooms. heat to high. cook for 5 minutes, stirring frequently
6. return chops to pan

We had these with garlic mashed potatoes and green beans. Delicious!


Cottage Cheese Bread II
this bread makes a great sandwich bread, great for toast and evening meals too. Click the link for the original, but below is my altered. it's a light bread machine bread. my DH likes that it's not really dense.

• 3/4 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
• 1 cup fat free cottage cheese
  
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 egg
• 3 cups better for bread flour
• 2 tablespoons white sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 3/4 teaspoons active dry yeast

1. Add the ingredients to the pan of your bread machine in the order suggested by the manufacturer, and Start. You can use more bread flour if the dough seems too sticky. Set to "regular" bread on machine. Wrap in towels to keep the crust firm and the center soft!
   

Dee's Crockpot Chicken
This is my sister's recipe. For Christmas a few years ago, she gave me a index card carrier filled with recipes. I made this one the other night and told her reading the recipe felt like reading a little note from her! It's super easy and great for this time of year. I'll mention in parantheses my alterations to her recipe.

• 1 Whole Chicken (thawed)
• Any and All seasonings, from cupboard and fridge (Mine were garlic, salt, pepper, rosemary and oregano)
• Any veggies to add (I used 1 half yellow onion)

1. Slice up veggies and place them on the bottom of the crockpot.
2. Set chicken in and spice and season to your heart's delight!
3. Let it cook on low for 8-10 hours, OR high 5-6 hours.

This was served with red potatoes and peas. I made a gravy out of the leftover "juice" on the bottom of the crockpot. It was perfect with the potatoes and over the chicken. The meat will fall right off the bone!


Chocolate Crinkle Cookies
Straight from Hershey's website. We were both craving something sweet and I dug through my cupboards to see what I could scrape together. Thankfully I had the ingredients to make these. Much to my surprise, these used to be DH's favorite!

• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup vegetable oil
• 3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa or HERSHEY'S SPECIAL DARK Cocoa
• 4 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2-1/3 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• Powdered sugar

1. Combine granulated sugar and oil in large bowl; add cocoa, beating until well blended. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Stir together flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to cocoa mixture, beating well.
2. Cover; refrigerate until dough is firm enough to handle, at least 6 hours. (I only did it for about 30 minutes because it was late!)
3. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease cookie sheet. Shape dough into 1-inch balls; roll in powdered sugar to coat. Place about 2 inches apart on prepared cookie sheet.
4. Bake 11 to 13 minutes or until almost no indentation remains when touched lightly and tops are crackled. Cool slightly. Remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely. About 4 dozen cookies.