Monday, August 1, 2011

go on and forget me



I am picking up old glasses, dusty books, cobweb-covered tool boxes and painter's ladders. She moves with me around card tables, wooden trunks, Spiderman memorabilia and wolf clocks. Our pace moves with our conversation,

slow,
easy,
deliberate.

We are looking at prices and life. Wondering why people have been forgotten, wondering where the years have gone between youth and age.

When did we become now? 

Occasional "remembers" slip out, but more "when was that?" float up because time has left gaping holes in our stories. As we consider old metal trunks, we talk of travel, of dreams forgotten, of what we fight against now. Beaten metal. Broken hearts. Restored furniture. Redeemed stories.

I knew her then, I am starting to know her now. The girl in between is a mystery to me, and I'm sure regarding myself, she could say the same.

Moving to a new town means running into old faces occasionally. More cases when I wonder where the line is for bulldozing your way into new friendships. Plenty, even abundant, opportunities for me to be awkward, say things I don't think about out loud, bite my tongue and learn all over again how community works. I'm still new at this, and I feel like that's how we all feel. 

you
me
them.

We're all figuring out how to be what we know we need, while fearfully snapping our hearts shut to the possibility of actually being known.

She pulls out a photo from a box of three old women, sitting in rocking chairs, talking of things long forgotten. No names. No dates. Just faces from a yesteryear, and no one to claim them.

Because of this, I feel the urge to be present. To listen. Ask.

If we will be forgotten in 150 years,
I would rather just be in the here now.
I would rather hear your story amidst these old cheese graters and depression glass.

Life is the living, and not the planning. We are living our lives as we talk about what we wish we were. But in 150 years, when someone could pull a photo of us from the box,

they will see the life we lived,
not the one we wished we did.

So I'm grateful, for all the things that are, that we are gaining, experiencing, learning.

Life is short. And there are gaps. There are things we will never know about this world, about eachother.

But the adventure is the part we get to live together.
Grace is active, love is rich, and the Gospel is for you and me. Let's find the redemption of the cross, the gift of grace as we walk, bump shoulders and collapse into honesty around eachother.

Let them forget me, my name, what I did.
Let a photo fall weathered from a box of me in a rocking chair,
knowing and loving the person who reaches a hand in the air across from me.
Let Grace be the song I sing,
my reputation dissolving into the forgotten,
my story be one that sparked a light in those I love.
Forget my name, go on,
so long as I fully live.



{182-197} counting on and on and on...
:: shakespeare in the park
:: izze pop
:: cheese and fresh bread
:: still lakes
:: generations of family
:: museums of child's play, life-size lite brites and kid cameras
:: sleep and rest
:: fairy tale books and strawberry juice glasses
:: provision
:: new friends and inspiring sisters of creativity
:: creamy peanut butter on fresh wheat bread
:: little girl dates with uncles
:: yellow sweaters and thrift store finds
:: white bedspreads
:: fresh chicken eggs
:: gifts to make my new apartment a home
-----
linking up with Ann @ A Holy Experience

3 comments:

  1. i am learning..bits here and bits there how to live what you wrote. i am ever so slowly getting to this place of being and funny - the more i do the more real 'living' i am doing. sound like you too? happy summer:)
    xo

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  2. Yes... it's funny how just "being" inspires life that we otherwise miss when we're constantly going. i'm thankful for days of detailed, gentle Grace. happy summer friend :)

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  3. Andrea --

    I found you through The High Calling, and I just fell in love with this post, your art, the amazing invitations you've made. You have a real gift, sister!

    I linked up to this post on my blog in a little thing I do every week called There and Back Again. I try to find people from The High Calling or just out in the blogosphere would are writing and thinking about great things, and then I think and write about the same things on my blog. It's great to meet YOU this week and to think about TODAY!

    I love that God has promised us so much in this 24 hours that we are living in. We have SO much to be thankful for.

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