Thursday, July 7, 2011

And dance by the light of the moon...

It's a Thursday that feels like a Wednesday, but also a Friday. So I'm filling my cup and meeting you at this virtual table to chat for a few minutes.

:: It was only last spring, a little last summer, and a lot last fall, that I started working what I called "second shift."

Let's just be honest — being a stay at home single mom and also self-employed is hard work. There's no way to slice it where at the end of the day, my to-do is list finished, my work is done, and I can put my feet up with no second thought. Something always suffers.

So last year, I started "second shift". I'd work as much as I could during the day, but not sacrifice all my time with the little bird. I wouldn't bury my nose into my computer as she romped around me. Rather, I'd do what I could for work, be a mom, housekeeper (and so on) and around 8 p.m., put on a pot of coffee. 9 p.m. office hours commenced again, closing up around 2 a.m.

Last winter, when I started getting panic attacks and hated life, I shut that down to try and salvage some sanity. But it seems I need it back.

See, it's summer. And my daughter is about to parkour off of these walls if I spend another day at the desk, and she's left to play indoors. Pray for me?

:: With that being said, be prepared for more design stuff on this blog. I need to marry the two a bit, and since design is such a huge part of my life and work, I guess it's only fitting I let you in on it a bit more here. 

:: I love summer freckles. And all the browns and tans that come from hours spent sweating... whether it's for play and pleasure, or work and toil, the sun is a gift. I'm thankful for it! I'm also thankful for brown jewelry, because it makes me feel more summery.

:: I feel like I'm on the edge of a new season of life with my daughter. Just the other day she asked when she can learn ballet, and she's taken up to whole sessions of acting in the living room... 

M: Mama! Come quickly!
Me: (running)
M: Mama.... (heavy sigh) I'm... I'm... I'm dying.... (she says with a smile)
Me: (playing along) Oh dear... well, that's quite sad. I will be so sad if you die. What hurts?
M: (she fake winces and lifts her arm) My elbow.... my elbow is dying, mama (then she proceeds to fake faint.)

I like the possibilities of this... I'm sending her off to fight imaginary dragons, we're eating popcorn on  pillow towers as princesses, and made-up songs spill out of her daily. I love it. But something in me is sad. Aches, really. She's growing up so, so quickly. When did this all happen?

And on that note, go fight some dragons.... and keep your elbows safe!


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