Ten Things

1. Glee is the only thing that gets me through Monday and Tuesday. (That may be slightly over dramatic but what else do you expect?)

2. I was looking forward to November 20 since November 21 last year. Next stop, June 30 2010. I realize that puts me on the level of manic, high-E screaming teenage girls... once again, I've resolved myself to this reality. Oh well.

3. I hate wearing lipstick. Like... hate. it.

4. Curiosity doesn't even scratch the surface of explaining my nerd interest in all things paranormal.

5. Once, on a really depressing night in Madrid NY, I drowned my sorrows with Mountain Dew, Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies and Oreos. It was sad. Sad. Sad. Sad.

6. Lately, music only makes me sad. So I avoid it.

7. I'm making a list because I need to write. I need to verbalize and get some words out from this creaky fingers.

8. I used to lay awake at night convinced I was going to die. I have numerous journal entries from 5 years old and up where I've written out letters to my family (and pets) to tell them how much I love them.

9. Lately, I've been asking myself a lot of questions. Mostly the unanswerable kind. Or the kind which require me to actually sit and think of an answer. Painting seems to be my number one way of expression lately. I have to continually fight getting my hopes up about actually finding some minimal success with something I love so much. I can hope. But hopes don't turn into sales and admirers and quitting full-time jobs that keep me at a desk. My husband reminded me to paint for myself. Not for what I hope others may enjoy. Or even for what I hope in "someday."

10. I am, at my core, an unfortunate cynic who loves to hope. How about that for contradiction?