On Living A Life That Invites In

Part IV: On living a life that invites in
By Lore Ferguson from Sayable 


I am by nature a preservationist. I think we all are. Oh, I don't mean that we save and horde and reuse. I mean when it comes to self, I am a master preservationist.

I pretend to be all open and honest, living life bare in front of you, and perhaps I have succeed in my ruse only. But deep down in, I preserve.

Living a life that invites is a challenge for me because when I open my heart to you, I lose the ability to preserve it for me.

Our world and even the Church would have you believe that your heart is this deep, mysterious, and beautiful thing. And it is. Deep, mysterious, beautiful. But it is not sacred and it is not to be preserved. Passages about guarding your heart are strewn about, simultaneously with purity rings and chastity promises. We are very good at guarding our hearts, setting up boundaries and saying no to the mere possibility of being hurt.

But I think we have lost out on something more sacred that your individual heart could ever be: that is the heart of the gospel.

The gospel sends out, the gospel reaches in, the gospel takes what is unlovely and loves, the gospel heals, the gospel extends grace, and the gospel saves.

When we condition our hearts to stay safe, we condition our hearts to be an anti-gospel. 

When we rule our hearts with principles and patterns, instead of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, we forget that He has made set boundaries for us in pleasant places. And nothing He has made for us is not for our good and His glory.

In true community we live lives that invite in, we condition our hearts to invite in, we make the choice to invite in. We practice hospitality in our homes, in our cars, in our meetings, in our seat at church next to a stranger, at the gym, and the grocery store. But we create an atmosphere for community in our hearts first.

We welcome because we have been welcomed. We embrace because we have been embraced. We ask because He has asked of us. We do hard things because He has done hard things.

I know of no greater moment of agony of heart, no greater possibility of pain, than that of Jesus in the garden begging for the cup to be removed.

I know of no greater display of a heart flung wide open, an invitation to all who would be saved, than that of Christ dying on the cross.

I know of no greater reward of a heart that was faithfully obedient than an eternity with a risen Savior and His people.

I long for an inviting heart like that.
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Part I: On Reputations
Part II: On Small Talk and Public Hiding
Part III: The Open Door Policy

On the Open Door Policy

Today, I'm writing over at Lore's blog about community, how it's inconvenient, and we all still need heaps and heaps of grace.

.....


I'm only freshly 28. I haven't been at this living thing for that long. Community was cool when I was sitting around with peers, daydreaming of a utopian Christianity. But as life has taken some twists and turns, I've learned that when it comes down to it...I know nothing about community. Not until I start living in the messy midst of it.

All I can say is, I've learned to keep my door propped open for whoever might walk in. And more so, to let the deep riches of grace that sustain me, be what flow out from me. Not my ability to keep a pretzel bowl filled.

Continued here>>>

On Small Talk and Public Hiding

By Lore Ferguson from Sayable

God doesn't do small talk. 

He doesn't get around to the deep subjects eventually and He doesn't skirt around difficult issues. God always goes after the heart. 

Sometimes it doesn't seem like this, like when He asked Adam where He was in the garden. "Adam, where are you?" (As though He didn't already know...) But in the heart of that question, He was holding a mirror to the deepest inclination of the natural man: to hide. 

This is what small talk is. It is a hiding of sorts behind a series of the day's events or offering a partial glimpse into a very real and very raw life. 

There isn't one of us who when confronted with exposure welcomes it fully, openly, and with humble honestly. We run from it. Even if we don't physically hide, like Adam did, we hide behind what often feels like forced smiles and half-hearted answers. 

God doesn't do that. 

He asks. He probes. He wrestles. He answers. He withholds when it is for our good, but only when it is for OUR good. He is interested in the complex details of our lives and He isn't afraid of the answers we're often too feeble to offer up. 

In community this is difficult at times. Because we are self-preservationists by nature, hiding in gardens and schedules and busyness and children and jobs, we sometimes feel too exhausted to ask questions or to give answers that will expose us. 

Truth hurts. We hear that but most times we are thinking of other people's truth about us. The truth is that truth hurts in all circumstances. Your truth, your story, your sin, your weaknesses, all of these things hurt me because I have love for you, not because you intend for them to hurt me. 

As we live and love community, seeking to reflect the gospel and grace in every circumstance, we are going to be faced with hurts of the deepest kind. Sickness, infidelity, depression, doubts, lust, all of this is raw and real and hurts whomever it contacts--but we, who are children of the Light, must walk in the light. We must not expose for exposure's sake, but for love's sake. For discipline's sake. For Christ's sake. 

We gently draw out, we ask the difficult questions, we probe, sometimes lightly, sometimes more pointedly. Because deep inside of you and deep inside of me there are things which must be said.Not for the sake of saying, but for the sake of Light. 

Why are you hiding? 
 
Come out, come out from wherever you are, from  your doubts, your fears, your concerns, your wild longings, your broken hearts, your deepest dreams, sit and tell me. I won't be surprised and I won't be turned off. This is the heart of God toward you. This is how He longs to commune with you and longs for you to commune with others. 

Come out! 
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Thanks for stopping by on day two of this series! 

Read more about Lore here. 

Read day one here.

You're Not All That Great, and Neither Am I.

"So, what brought you to Texas?"

This was the question that would send nerves in my knees shuddering into my throat. A harmless one, on the surface. But the kick of the anthill to my soul. >>> continued over here at Sayable.net

And Here We Go.

So I've got this friend. Once she was my housemate, my fellow traveler, and in those conversations on porches and in hotel rooms, my heart carved out a place for her to stay. Our roads have diverged here and there, but always, she was one whose love and grace was bright, even on the darkest nights. This isn't just flattery. This is my telling you that I want you to meet her, hear her.

Lore (or as I call her "Lo") Ferguson and I did a whirlwind brainstorm and decided we wanted to chatter a bit about some things on our hearts. Her writing voice is beautiful and true, and has a way of sticking to your ribs in the best way possible. So we decided to swap blog locations and do a mini-series. For the next week or so, she'll be blogging here and I'll be blogging here (at her blog). I hope you can join us at both locations as we look at the word that is on everyone's buzz list these days — community.

I sent Lore a few questions, and she sent me a few to answer as well. My answers are posted over at her blog.

Here's Lore:

Andrea: Why community? What does that word mean to you?
Lo: When I think about community, I think about the garden, in the beginning, when God's people walked with Him. I think about communing with God and communicating that to others. Commune means to be in a state of intimate, heightened sensitivity and receptivity, and that's what I want to have with the people both near to me and, as much as possible, with people who are far from me geographically. 

Andrea: In your mind, what's the fruit of a healthy community?

Lo: I think it's two-fold, but one word: growth. I say two-fold because I think healthy community fosters both internal growth as well as external growth. When we are growing people internally, this shows externally, and the result is that our community grows both internally as well as externally. So we grow deep as well as out. 

Andrea: What do you think is an obstacle to creating really healthy relationships with people in the church, and outside of the church?
Lo: I think the sense of entitlement that especially our generation seems to have. We feel entitled to our space, time, food, home, belongings, and we've been taught that it's okay to feel that way. You gave in this area, so your reward is time to yourself in this area. You paid for this item, so you ought to hold it close and carefully.The truth is that we are not entitled to anything, and any blessing we have is just that: a blessing. It's been entrusted to us so that we can steward it to the blessing of others. Simply. 

Andrea: What would you tell someone who said "man is an island. i don't need anyone"?
Lo: I would ask how that's working for them? I think we need times of rest and sabbath, to slow down and take time to reevaluate our commitments and allegiances, but I think any time we begin to throw around phrases like "I need my space" or "I'm shy and an introvert" we need to be considering whether or not we're producing fruit living like that. This isn't about personality, it's about living a gospel-centered life, not a me-centered one. Are we really living a sustainable gospel-centered life? Are we thinking about future generations? We can't live by ourselves for long, we'll sink. 

Andrea: How does true community change the way you live your life?
Lo: Honestly? Ha! It keeps me humble. I wake up feeling humbled by the people with whom I get to share life; I go to bed thinking of the ways in which I could have blessed them more; I am constantly having to repent of and rethink the ways in which I relate to and love them. My life isn't my own and when I begin to think that it is, I tend to railroad people and blessings. Instead I try to be mindful of blessing them, and not grow frustrated with myself when I don't. It's an opportunity to be humbled by their love for me AND an opportunity for me to repent. 

Andrea: Any advice to people who want community, but can't seem to find anyone else to connect with?
Lo: The best advice I have ever gotten from anyone on how to build relationships is to be a "There You Are" person instead of a "Here I Am" person. In every situation, whether I'm comfortable with the people I'm around or not, I try to seek them out and find out who they are. Hear their story. Ask them questions. Create an atmosphere where they will feel comfortable asking me questions. This is sometimes very hard and there are always roadblocks, but we'll talk more about that soon! 

Posts start tomorrow!