Wrapping It Up.

Oh 2012. You seem big. Open. Unwritten.

I was going to write one of those epic end-of-the-year, photo-logged, everything-amazing-in-one-shot posts, but I'll be honest.

I have the attention span of a gnat these days. I opened up a photo of summer to edit and an hour later I was watching a video on another website and accepting a video chat from a girlfriend down south.

So, faithful, kind, quiet blog readers, this is what you get. I'm doing this partially for you, but I'll admit, a bit of it is for me. This is a page with the corner bent down, so when we look back to see how this year shaped us, we'll see it was slow, testing, beautiful, good.

:: {THE STARS AT NIGHT}... are not just big in bright in Texas. They are everywhere between Texas and New York. And I traveled that stretch of road three times this year, the last one being the farewell to the state I called home for the past 6+ years. I thought I was coming back, but things change as things do....

Even still, when people ask me, "Why Rochester?" I shrug my shoulders slightly, try to come up with a reason that sounds not-so-crazy as "I felt like it was the right thing to do." (Because when I actually say, "I felt like it was the right thing to do," most people give me a cock-eyed smile and I see a bit of pity cross their face.)

As if they think I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Chuckle.

....

I know what I'm doing with my life (said with a not-so-believable earnestness).

(Commence more quiet laughter.)

:: {MADELEINE} If you know her, you'll know what I mean when I say this... This girl is a spark. From the moment her feet hit the floor until I kiss her goodnight, she is nonstop. I'm amazed at her. Parenting her is the hardest, most amazing, most humbling, and most beautiful thing I get to do with my life. This year, the year from 2-3, has been no exception. Also, I get to meet strangers everywhere because she strikes up conversations with everyone. And, people, I mean EVERYONE. IT NEVER STOPS. EVER.

:: {THE ORGANIC BIRD} The success of this year has really surprised me. I still feel like I'm cheating the system somehow... now and then, in the mornings, when I'm knotted up with my coffee, hair tossed in a sloppy bun, my toddler running about, and I'm checking e-mail, I wonder... "Is this really my job?" 2011 shaped a lot of the face of The Organic Bird, including a new logo. I like new things, and this one (obviously) is one of my favorites. I have had some amazing clients this year. People with dreams, ambition, ideas, and I get to be a part of it. That. is. awesome.

It's not always easy, or fun, but I'm still in the boat that if you can work for yourself, you should. Figure it out. Take some risks. Have some fun. And if it fails? Well, at least you know you tried.

:: {THE LESSONS OF LIFE} Who was it that said "You really don't know anything until you realize you know nothing."?

Yep. That. After a year of reading, listening, learning, and changing I have come to the conclusion that I am, at best, the distracted student sitting in the back of the classroom. Thank God for Grace. That the Lord is gracious, slow to anger, compassionate and rich in love. I've read quite a few books this year, and several still stand out ... two to mention are The Cross Centered Life and One Thousand Gifts. I have revisited them both several times throughout the year. Romans has been a guiding light for me this year, the one that I've returned to again and again and again. I'm reminded by C.J.'s book again: "Never be content with your grasp of the gospel. The gospel is life-permeating, world-altering, universe-changing truth. It has more facets than any diamond. Its depths man will never exhaust.” I have reached the end of this year with a slight limp in my heart — the good kind, I guess.

(this is my current desktop image. i need to see this daily.)

So, 2012. I see you standing there, flexing your muscles with your Leap Year status and apocalyptic threats. I'm not that scared of you.

Here's to a New Year.

Cheers.