It's something I used to do. And now I do more of it.
Like... all. the. time.
I was invited by a friend/co-worker/worship leader to paint during a recent worship experience. He said, "Use this as an opportunity to do something you've dreamed of doing." So I purchased a huge canvas. I would've purchased bigger however upon inspection, I realized that I might not be able to reach the top once it were on my easel.
I went with 3' x 4'. 4' being just one foot short of my 5' spunky self.
The jitters haunted me all day. I imagined myself getting halfway through the painting and with several hundred witnesses, facing a bitter failure of work. I tinkered with colors, and musings, and my own heart.
It finally came down to me standing behind a black curtain, begging God to inspire my hands and heart beyond my own understanding.
I read a quote yesterday that said, "Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better."(Andre Gide)
There it stood. Daunting. Ambitious. The butterflies swarmed my insides as the music started. But it happened. With or without me, God sweeps in and captures hearts. I'm just glad that I was able to be a part of it last night. More than anything, I was reminded that I am His masterpiece. I am a canvas, thrashed and covered with color and scratches, rags dragged along my surface to clean and create. I like knowing this side of my Creator. Like a friend once said, "I feel like God understands me when I dance," I can echo her. I feel like God understands me when I paint. And if that's all it is, I'm ok with that.