Mind vs. Body, Episode 1

If you have ever tried to lose weight, or have successfully lost weight, or maybe even just tried taking your body under control…. this is for you.

I am 5 months into this weight loss journey, with almost 35 lbs gone and behind me and not to be found again. As someone once said, "Lost weight? No no. I'm getting rid of it. I don't intend on finding it again."

But I wanted to give you an honest review of what these five months have been like. Now, I have to tell you, most of my journey so far has been an internal epic throw down battle argument conversation between my mind and my body. The two don't always agree. 

So here's how it went down.

Pre-week one: Sister calls excitedly, announces she's joined a national weight loss program and that "Hey! You should try it too!" 

Mind: Huh, maybe we should.

Body: It's a scam. Eat your donut.

Three weeks later sister calls again. "I've lost 8lbs!"

Mind: Well, huh.

Body: Oh no.

I drop my morning croissant and say, "Oh. That's awesome. Ok…Ok that's awesome." And then quietly go sign up for said weight loss program.

Day one:

Mind: We can do this.

Body: This is dumb. Give me my chocolate covered pretzels.

Day two:

Mind: Ok, this is annoying. Give me more fruit because they're zero points which means GIVE ME THE WHOLE BOWL.

Body: See? Told you. This is dumb. You can't do it.

Day 7: 2 lbs lost.

Mind: LOOK!

Body: Yeah, ok. That's kinda cool.

Three weeks later:

Mind: I can't believe this is working!

Body: I can't believe this is working!

Two months later:

Mind: SERIOUSLY. Can't believe this is working.

Body: OMG we're such a team! Go us!

Two months later + a day: Run into a friend at a school event. She says, "Gosh, you'd be so pretty if you were skinny."

Mind: Push her into the pool.

Body: "Well,… you… your face would be pretty if it wasn't so ugly."

Three months later: Someone notices and says something about how I'm losing weight.

Mind: SEE?! It IS working. We're winners! We're on top of a mountain! We can do anything!

Body: I guess. You're annoying me though. 

Four months later, now 30 lbs lost: 

Mind: Ok body, we're gonna have to get over this plateau. It's time to kick some things in gear.

Body: I don't like the tone of your voice.

Four months + a day:

Mind: We're gonna run!

Body: I hate you.

Four months + a day + 15 minutes of running:

Mind: I hate you.

Body: The feeling is mutual.

Four months + a week:

Mind: Yay running! Look at us go!

Body: Your knee hurts. Or is it your hip? Or your feet? All of them. They all hurt.

Five months:

Mind: Listen body, the only way this is gonna work from here on out is if we work together. We're running. And then we're doing that insane 100 jumping jacks, russian twists, side lunges thing. And then I'm going to give you lots of water! And we'll be able to wear a new dress size soon!

Body: I still think this is dumb. Also, you lost me at "work".

Five months + a day:

Mind: See? We can run! We're fine!

Body: You just inhaled a fly.

Five months + two days:

Mind: Feel those muscles? Isn't that awesome?!

Body: Care to go up stairs and get me something? Oh you can't move?! HOW AWESOME IS THAT.

Five months + three days:

Mind: 100 jumping jacks!
Body: Your pants are falling off of us every time you jump. You're embarrassing me. Plus, I'm pretty sure the neighbors are watching.

Five months + two weeks:

Mind: Hey look, three more pounds lost.

Body: I think you're on to something.

I'm hoping at some point these two get on the same page. But until then, I am always mediating this conversation. So if you're wondering if the process is easy, I would argue that YES it is easy, and NO it is all hard work. 

I guess it depends on who you're talking to.