night

sometimes pillowcases make good tissues.

and even in the shadows, i listen to the sound of my own heart, my own breath. things that remind me i'm still alive and surviving. the blanket weighs heavy on my chilled body, like the unseen presence cloaking my heart in warmth. i wonder if my neighbors can hear me choking out tears through these thin walls.

a movie chatters on from my computer. meaningless company for these still hours, but the voices fill the inescapable silence and loneliness.

sometime around 3 a.m. i wake to a black computer screen and the tiny cries of a sleeping girl across the apartment. my tears have dried by now and the night seems not so endless. alarms are due to ring in a couple hours. i slip back into the comfort of disconnected dreams.

and as He promised, the sun rises again.