in case anyone tells you otherwise, you should know: sometimes being a single mom really really sucks.
i would like to pretend that i'm figuring this all out with such bravado and super-human strength. the truth is sometimes i stomp my feet as much as my nine month old. i selfishly want company just so i don't have to deal with the devasting loneliness. sometimes madeleine is downright boring.
so i cope.
the library, where i can rent movies for two weeks at a time and books that help me escape when i don't feel like dealing with reality. and no, i'm not taking out "eight steps to surviving divorce" or "how to marry a millionaire in 90 days". i'm reading about teenage angst and love stories that probably wouldn't last in reality.
the kitchen, where i concoct new recipes and test Madeleine's developing palate out (not with my new recipes). looking for some good recipes that work for a single working mom? just ask me.
painting, where i can splash a white or used canvas with colors to reflect my soul. i believe everyone can paint. just like everyone can sing. not everyone is van gogh. i'm on the "not everyone" list, but still i love it.
and my coping mechanisms are developing and changing.
however, in case anyone tells you otherwise, sometimes it's not all that bad.
Andrea, you right being a single mom does suck and this is coming from someone who's done it for 7 years.. But just know that when you look into those little eyes that she is why your here.. She will keep you from being bored and from giving up and in the lonely times she will help you to not be so lonely.. And that is why I think God gave us our kids.. Just keep believing!!!
ReplyDeleteKristi
i think you are incredible! i can't tell you what an inspiration you are and how absolutely-without-a-doubt thankful i am to have you as a friend in my life! a genuine friend. i am ALWAYS here.
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